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Channing Tatum To Star In ‘Splash’ Reboot As the Mermaid…Er, Merman

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In a head turning casting decision that instantly adds intrigue to an otherwise bland idea for a remake, Hollywood stripper turned movie star boytoy Channing Tatum is going to star in a remake of Splash—as the mermaid. Or is it Merman? The politically correct pronoun for half fish/ half human gender specification gets confusing.

Merman

But this is no fish tale…the idea first spawned when Tatum expressed interest in coming aboard the project, assuming the role that made actress Daryl Hannah an 80s popcorn beauty back in the 1984 original…it also launched the movie career of some hack named Tom Hanks

Disney was keen to jump on this remake, studio execs feel it’s a property that can really make a box office ‘Splash’ in the right hands…but until Tatum entered the Frey it was looking more like a belly flop to outsiders.

Frankly, this comes across as a blatant excuse to put Channing Tatum in some King Triton-looking getup and hose him down so he’s glistening properly…and for that it is genius.

Oh, and just in case you’re an uncultured millennial that wasn’t alive in 1984, here’s the lowdown about what the cult classic original we’re discussing is even about (according to The Hollywood Reporter):

“ [Splash] starred Hanks as a man who as a young boy was saved from drowning by a mermaid (Hannah). The mermaid returns 20 years later and finds the boy she once saved, and gives him the option between his life on land or a life under the sea with her.”

And here’s the original 1984 ‘Splash’ trailer too for you people with the attention span of a teenage girl, and in need of constant media stimulation…because, you know, reading is hard…

Disney is really hoping this idea has legs, or at least fins…

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Sabrina Chafin is a Hollywood gossip veteran with years of insider experience in the depths of Tinseltown's red carpet trenches and star-studded after parties. She resides in Manhattan Beach with her two Pomeranians, Vixen and Stardust.

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