Some of us watched Olympic athletes make history last night. Others had more pressing TV to tend to and decided it be better to waste an hour of our lives watching Bachelor in Paradise for the SECOND time this week.
Episode 3 proved almost as bad as Lace’s feverish extensions. But, the good kind of bad. With little happening sans a triple cabana makeout and some new, rather boring contestant arrivals. Needless to say, I loved every second of it.
This time, the girls had the power. Boys that are nervous and fidgety make me uncomfortable. Insert Evan and Nick.
Christian Bishop, from JoJo’s season (no surprise since 99% of them are), is the first newbie to come. You know, the one that looks like Grant with a little less chin action and height. His bio on ABC says he’s 5’11, and I’m not even the slightest bit convinced. The girls are smitten. I attribute this to their less than stellar group of guys to choose from.
After talking it over with the boys, Christian decides to take Sarah on an adventurous date of rock climbing and zip lining. A curious choice for a girl with one arm. Daniel got jealous, compared himself to an eagle, and set up his own ‘romantic’ date to get her attention back. She liked it. Which is “weird, really weird” considering I’m not sure he’s human. They decide it be best not to kiss for fear of Zika Virus. Good call guys, way to play it safe…
Enter contestant #2, Brandon Andreen, from Desiree’s season. If Chris Harrison doesn’t even know who you are, you can bet I don’t. A quick google search reveals he cries a lot and might have a criminal past, winner winner. He goes on a date with a twin, I can’t remember which one. They prank him and switch mid dinner, he has no idea but thinks the connection is strong. You go boy.
And really, that was it minus a lot of making out and awkward moaning. Oh, and Daniel counting his abs to make sure they’re all there.
Other honorable mentions from last night’s Bachelor in Paradise episode:
- Sexy Six: The name given to the group (by themselves) who make out on the cabana next to each other all night. This includes Vinny and Izzy, Amanda and Josh, and Grant and Lace. I’ve still yet to see Josh and Amanda exchange anything but slobber.
- Carly reveals to Evan that she isn’t feeling a lady boner for him, Evan cries.
- Evan creates his own date card in an attempt to steal Amanda? Approaches them as making out ensues…TBC flashes on the screen. Oh, the anticipation.
- Emily gets really drunk off one beer, says awkward things, might want to bang Jorge the Bartender.
In conclusion, Nick Viall said it best on his Instagram:
Until next time, fellow Reality TV junkies!Share your thoughts with us Celebrity Gossipers in the comments below! Be sure to subscribe to our newsletters. But don’t forget to like us on FACEBOOK!
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