Film Producer Confirms ‘Indiana Jones 5’ Likely To Suck

Film Producer Confirms ‘Indiana Jones 5’ Likely To Suck

Movie fans’ worst fears were somewhat confirmed on social media this week, as veteran Hollywood producer Frank Marshall appalled us all with the revelation that the plot to the forthcoming fifth Indy film will be a continuation of 2008’s ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

The news prompted die hard fans worldwide to collectively check their calendars to make sure it wasn’t April 1st…and afterwards they immediately started cursing under their breath.

Indiana Jones
Image via Action Movie Addicts

It turns out this much beloved adventure icon of American cinema is going to receive a follow up sequel to the nearly universally reviled sequel the franchise dubiously spawned less than a decade ago.

Will this mean more Shia LaBeouf? More CGI ants and monkeys? More cartoonishly bad Russian accents? More geriatric action? More nuclear explosion survivals inside of a common household refrigerator?

Yes, that’s right! The movie that literally coined the movie industry phrase “nuking the fridge” as an acceptable alternate idiom for the classic phrase “jumping the shark” is going to inspire a sequel!

But don’t worry, the producers assure us that pending a natural death while in production, Harrison Ford will never be replaced as the title swashbuckler.

In fact seeming the actor will be 75 at the time of principal photography, it seems fair to speculate that it may actually be written in Harrison’s contract that he’s supposed to die on set.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON INDIANA JONES RETURNING? IS THIS A BAD IDEA?

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